My Pleasure Is Not Your Responsibility

We're all responsible for making sure we get what we need.

(Author’s Personal Photo)

Happy Friday, everyone. This is the last Friday in June, let’s make it a great one.

Normally, at this time of year, I’ve been to the beach a few times already and am working on my tan. I’m lucky enough to live on the coast, so this is an easy trip. However, with everything going on in the world today, beach trips are last on my list, sadly.

I did manage to make it to the beach last week, in the late evening. Hubby and I spent most of the day, running away from rain, and attempting to find locales for some naughty photography.

As I mentioned in my last letter to you, I’m offering these photos for purchase. The edits are as complete as they’ll ever be, considering I’m not a professional editor!

A few people took advantage of the deal I’m offering, which is still in effect. If you purchase an annual subscription or higher, you’ll receive 10 photos as a bonus!

If that’s not your cup of tea, photos are $10 each. Please reply to this letter once you’ve sent payment so I know where to send your photos. You can CashApp payment to $Demeterdelune

If CashApp isn’t available in your area, please send me a note and we’ll work something out.

On to the story!



Pleasure is a personal thing. What does it for me could turn someone else off completely. That’s the beauty of individuality. It’s also the crux of many sexual issues within relationships. When you make your pleasure the responsibility of another person, you may find yourself left wanting.

I was 10 plus years into my sex life before I ever had an orgasm. For a long time after it finally happened, I questioned if I was choosing poorly when it came to companions or if I was doing something wrong.

Yes and yes.


When it comes to our pleasure, it’s up to us to ensure it happens. Sure, it’s awesome having a partner who just ‘gets it right’, but that isn’t the norm. Each person needs something different; so unless your partner is a mind reader, it’s unlikely they’ll just figure it out without a bit of direction from you.

It’s your job to say what you need; it’s your partner’s job to listen and take the appropriate actions.

I grew up hearing nothing about sex or sexual pleasure, save the book my mother bought for me when I started my period. Our Bodies, Ourselves is still a wonderful resource for young women, just learning about their bodies. I posit it’s just as important for women of any age to read and already have a copy to give to my daughter once she’s older.

Although reading is how I learned so many things as a young woman, it’s much different than openly discussing a topic. The Joy of Sex was another resource, but one I had no real life experience to compare to.


No one told me it was okay to talk about the things I was reading and absorbing with a sexual partner.

Finish Reading Now!

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