How to Get Started With Rough or Aggressive Sex
Learn to navigate shame and enjoy yourself more in the long run.
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Rough sex means different things for different people. But according to recent research, as many as 70 percent of folks enjoy some form of rough play.
This can range from hair pulling to full on BDSM.
Since society still expects us to keep quiet about how we engage in sex, there’s not much information out there about pleasurable and safe rough sex; unless you are a member of a community of like-minded individuals who discuss it openly.
But I’m Not into BDSM
Typically, rough sex is any sexual interaction that’s more physically aggressive or possibly physically dangerous. But everything is subjective and what may be aggressive to you, is a regular roll in the hay to me.
Anything from hard kissing or energizer bunny pounding from behind, to serious impact play or a full-blown BDSM scene counts.
The most important part is consent. If it isn’t consensual, it isn’t sex. It’s assault. Even consensual non-consent, is consent.
According to professional dominatrix and sex educator, Lola Jean, “Rough sex doesn’t have to include physical pain or discomfort.”
Sexting and the kind of pron you’re watching can qualify as something aggressive.
And it’s all completely normal. Don’t let anyone shame you for wanting rough sex, regardless of how ‘vanilla’ or ‘extreme’ your desire seems to be.