What Polyamory Is and What It Is Not
There are different branches of polyamory, but some things are universal.
When I begin a conversation with someone I’m interested in dating, one of the first things I tell them, is I’m married and in a polyamorous relationship.
Typically, their first question is, what is polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. Some of the core tenets of polyamory include treating relationships with other people in an ethical and responsible way.
Each polyamorous relationship is different. The guidelines, morals, and boundaries are specific to the needs and desires of the individuals involved, and should never be presumed based on experiences with others or what we see in the media.
One of the most important parts of my relationship is the ethical portion of it. It’s also the part people get wrong the most.
Polyamory is not an excuse to behave badly.
Another name for polyamory is ethical non-monogamy, emphasis on being ethical. We’ve opened our relationship after heartfelt, honest, and intense discussions; the last thing we want to be a part of is aiding someone in being unfaithful to their spouse or partner. Polyamory is not an excuse to behave badly.
Polyamory is a way for people who feel the capacity to have loving relationships with more than one person to explore that desire. Some people feel polyamory is a relationship orientation, similar to a sexual orientation, and that they are programmed that way and can’t imagine being any other way. Others believe polyamory is a conscious choice to be made.