Getting lost in a crowd is not an unusual occurrence for me. I’ve always been a daydreamer and tend toward introspection, even when I should be paying attention to my surrounds. As my grandfather liked to say, I don’t have a ton of situational awareness.

Losing an entire person in a room full of other naked people, however, was a new one for me.

My second husband and I had been dating for a few months when we made our first trip to the most local to us swinger’s club. We were still dipping our toes into the pool, so I wanted to start with a smaller club.

This wasn’t our first foray into the swinging world. We’d attended one house party together and had met a few couples. But it was our first trip to a club.

Nervous about attending a party and not knowing anyone ahead of time, I posted on the swinging website, Adult Friend Finder, letting others in our area know we would be attending the party Saturday night.

I thought it would be helpful to see a friendly face or two.

Turns out, the club was further away than our friends wanted to travel, so we were on our own.

The club was located in a residential neighborhood in a home they’d converted. There was a backyard, with 10-foot privacy fencing, just in case folks wanted to take the party outside. Club rules required you to be dressed appropriately when outside the front of the house, as they didn’t want the neighbors complaining and having them shut down.

I was surprised by the location, being honest. Hiding in plain sight works well. Once inside, it was obvious the place was once a single-family home, but they’d closed in the large garage area for tables/chairs; providing a place for neutral meeting and greeting.

Three bedrooms were outfitted with two queen beds pushed together, each, and one had a sex swing in the corner as well.

You know, exactly how I’d like my bedroom at home if I didn’t have children!

As with any swinger’s event, there are rules. Most are common sense related. No touching without consent. Be sure to ask about each couple’s rules before playing. No photography without consent of all parties. Condoms are on the table. Lube is available.

Just bring your open mind and the fun makes itself.

Finish Reading Now!

Hello, my wonderful fans!

I hope May is treating you well and you’re taking care of yourself.

After months of being a free newsletter, I’ve made the decision to turn on paid subscriptions.

What does this mean for you?

Well, you have a few options. You can choose to remain a free subscriber, of course! You’ll still receive occassional newsletters from me with friend links to my articles. They just won’t be quite as frequent.

You can also subscribe for $5 per month (or discounted at $50 annually) and receive all my newsletters, plus, bonus photography and erotic stories!

I’ve even thrown in a high level option for super readers, where you can subscribe at a price of your choosing (over and above the annual price) and receive even more.

It’s up to you <3

Now, on to the story!

Recently, my dear friend Yael Wolfe challenged me to write about my map of sexual awakenings. We all have moments in our lives, where we realize something big is happening. They may be soft and subtle, or strike us like lightning, but when it comes to our sexuality, oftentimes, it’s a bit of both.

For myself, until my mid-twenties, I was as naive as they come. There were many moments I can recall that contributed to the sexual person I am today, some good, some bad.

Was I prescient enough at the time to recognize what was happening?

Not at all.

I wonder now, had I been more self-aware when I was younger, would I have become so promiscuous in an attempt to learn?

It’s interesting to ponder, but being honest, changes nothing.

The awareness may not have been there, but I’ve always been pansexual. As Yael discusses in her piece, What I Mean When I Say I’m Pansexual, a broader definition of pansexuality.

Not knowing what it meant then, I remember always being in tune with nature, as a child. The loamy scent of the forest did something to my body I couldn’t explain. Sucking on wild honeysuckle, searching for wild sorrel so I could eat the fairy okra. Foraging dandelion leaves, to add to salad later.

I was always a strange child.

None of that, on the surface, seems sexual in nature. Looking back, the feeling I got from being in natural surroundings is the same charge I get when aroused.

You couldn’t have asked me to explain it then and even now, there are times I struggle finding words. Akin to being Alice, falling down the rabbit hole, allowing the world to take me where it will.

Finish Reading Now!

Someone had the brilliant idea to mark May as a month of masturbation. I’ve never needed an excuse to jill off, but hey, with the way things are going in the world today, I’ll take a month of masturbation over most anything else.

It got me thinking about how we masturbate. Everyone has their own routine and it’s easy to get in a rut. If you’d like some new ideas to change things up, I wrote about that here.

Back in March, when all this craziness began, I offered photos for donations and I’d like to do that again. Since we’re all supposed to be masturbating this month, why not update your spank-bank with new photos of yours truly?

There are two ways to do it! Get photos, that is.

$10 to my CashApp $Demeterdelune (preferred, as there are no fees and it’s instant!) for each photo. Or, one “Coffee” per photo to my Kofi.

The photos will be dealer’s choice.

I hope you’re all taking care of yourselves and staying healthy and well.

xoxo-Demeter

Writing about first experiences is always tricky. Sometimes, our first time doing something isn’t always a good memory and can bring up feelings of shame.

Oftentimes it’s awkward, which can be amusing when we look back or squirm-worthy.

As a sex writer and sex-positive person, I try to talk about things from many perspectives, because the more we talk about sex the easier and more normalized it becomes.

Recently, my friends and colleagues, Ena Dahl and Yael Wolfe shared their perspectives on the topic of being a good lover.

In her article, Yael posits there’s no such thing as a good lover, that “sex is about interaction and communication — not skill.”

While I wholeheartedly agree communication is one of the cornerstones of any interaction between people, there is something to be said for skill.

And the desire to acquire certain skills.

Years ago, not long after I left my first husband, I spent a lot of time with a group of brothers who took me under their wings and considered me their little sister.

The brothers owned a tattoo shop where on occasion, I would help customers pick out jewelry and set appointments. One of the brothers, John (who is now married to our sometimes third, Char) also lived in the apartment next to mine.

When the shop would close, anyone who wasn’t married or otherwise dating, generally came home with John and hung out to play video games for a couple of hours to wind down before going home to bed.

Mike was affectionately known as the shop bitch. He wasn’t a tattoo artist yet, he was training, so it was his job to keep the shop clean, do some of the drawing, and pretty much anything else the guys needed done but didn’t want to do themselves.

He was young and kind of goofy, but sweet. He didn’t have a girlfriend and wasn’t the kind of guy who even flirted. At well over 6 feet tall, he managed to make himself small wherever he was, trying to blend in with the crowd.

But when we were at John’s, his personality came shining through.

He laughed and carried on with the guys, joking and flirting with me. Which was a shock to everyone around. I was at least 10 years older than Mike, and to everyone’s knowledge, he had never had a girlfriend, much less an older one.

Finish Reading Now!

I wrote about my naughty bucket list last year and one of the items I mentioned is having a MFM threesome with my husband. This prompted multiple conversations with him since, about fantasies we’ve both had and what we plan to do to complete them.

Since I wrote that piece, my husband has shared his own sexual bucket list with me and we found we have a lot of the same fantasies to work toward.

Surprisingly, he was onboard with my MFM fantasy.

We have a somewhat open relationship, but adding another man to the mix was never on the table and I didn’t know that it ever would be. As time has passed and our relationship has progressed, it’s something we’ve both considered intently.

The more I think about it, the more I want it to happen. I enjoy being attended to. Who doesn’t? And it’s not at all that I don’t feel I get enough attention from my husband, but I’m not one to turn down additional attention.

In preparation for all this attention, we’ve recently played a lot with extra toys in the bedroom.

We have a thrusting realistic dildo that mimics a second penis that works beautifully to give me an idea of what it will be like to have another real penis in the bed with us.

It’s soft enough on the outside to feel real, while maintaining the perfect erection all the time. It’s a little larger than average, around 6 inches, and fairly girthy, so we use it for vaginal penetration only.

What I love about it is the thrusting action, which can be slow or fast depending on your preferences. It has a good weight as well, so it feels realistic.

Although it’s impossible to work on positioning without a second person, we’re getting the idea of how things will work internally at least. The feelings of fullness and how to alternate thrusting are easy to do with toys before moving on to adding a real person to the mix.

I’ve been involved in MFM threesomes in the past, just not with my husband. Unfortunately, most of those experiences weren’t that great.

For the most part, they weren’t centered around me and that isn’t what I’m looking for. It may sound like I’m being greedy and that’s okay, maybe I am.

A MFM threesome isn’t something I want or will have every night, it’s something I want every once in awhile, so if in the process of getting what I want, that means I want all the attention on me, so be it.

Finish Reading Now!