Are You Celebrating Valentine's Day With Your Partner or Yourself?
There's nothing wrong with celebrating YOU if that's where you are.
As probably the most commercialized holiday in the United States, if not the world, Valentine’s Day is either a loved or hated day, depending on who you are. For some folks, if you’re single, you may be thinking, well what’s so damn great about it? People have often referred to it as “Single’s Awareness Day” in a cynical tone of voice and to be honest, I have never subscribed to being that cynical. I guess I am the kind of person who tries to put a positive spin on just about anything.
I’ve been single, married, divorced, coupled, throupled, more-pled…pretty much everything you could possibly think of on this holiday. I’m going to bet you money I don’t have (go ahead and feel free to send me some if you’re feeling froggy and want to hedge my bet—or you’re just feeling in the mood to treat me this Valentine’s Day!) you’ve never been in the situation I am currently.
Married, husband in prison for the next three years and some change for a crime he didn’t commit, living alone, but also in a relationship with another couple who live about a 1000 miles away, and a boyfriend about the same distance away. So, on for the most part, unless I’m doing myself (which I do!) I am not getting any physical touch on a consistent or regular basis.
I won’t get to see or touch any of my loves on Valentine’s Day this year, it also didn’t happen last year, and it probably won’t happen next year either. Luckily, I did just return from a wonderful 4 days with the couple I’m dating and I definitely packed away a lot of kisses, a little hand-holding, some *chef’s kiss* adult time, a lot of wonderful hugs, and some exceptional quality time and conversation to hold me over until next time.
But I’m genuinely not bitter nor jaded about any of it. Sure, I get sad at times. Yes, I would love for my husband to be home, to be able to cuddle with him at night. To be able to spend more in person time with my couple. I absolutely miss being able to go see F on weekends when he used to be 30 minutes away. I’m not a machine, I’m a human being. But none of that means I can’t still enjoy the life I have otherwise, nor that I can’t give myself a good time.
So if you find yourself alone for whatever reason this Valentine’s Day, be your own damn Valentine. Shower yourself with attention, affection, love, candy, flowers, or whatever it is you need. Trust me, you deserve it.
Did you miss out on shopping for yourself or partner(s)? It’s not too late. You may not receive your items in time for the big day, but there are ways to mitigate that—simply screenshot the order or item, compose a sexy, silly, or sappy text to go with it, and send it to your partner. “Life got away from me and I simply lost track of time, but anticipation can be sexy, just like you…here’s what’s coming soon…hope you will be, too”
Hey, I’m corny, what can I say?
Check out this article which contains some pretty fantastic sales from some of my favorite companies, some of which are ongoing through 2/24:
The Ultimate Valentine’s Day Deals From Top Sexual Wellness Brands
If toys aren’t your thing, maybe you’re anxious about how to treat your Valentine? What about a night in with a sensual massage? Remember, sex at the end shouldn’t be your goal.
How To Give A Sensual Massage To Yourself Or Your Partner
Maybe you’re feeling a little bold, have you ever considered attending a sex party? You’re not alone. According to research, at least one in six people have considered it. Here’s some etiquette before you attend.
The Top 6 Sex Party Tips For Beginners on International Sex Education Day
If you’re going to attend a sex party, or just have sex in general, initiating can be anxiety inducing. Moreover, when I’ve spoken with clients in the past, one of the chief complaints I’ve heard from my clients who identify as men who are in relationships is that their partners rarely initiate sex. I worked on collecting some tips on how to do this consensually and with less awkwardness.
How to Initiate Sex Consensually and Comfortably
I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine’s Day, however you choose to celebrate.
xoxo,
Demi