When I was a professional dominatrix, there were a limited number of people in my every day life who knew exactly what it was I did for a living. Sex work, in any iteration, is heavily frowned upon in most social circles.

I was lucky that the majority of people I interacted with were also in the sex industry, so the judgment wasn’t as bad as it could have been. What startled me was the judgment based on the kink surrounding BDSM, more than the sex work itself.

Do a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.

BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism) encompasses many things, one level of which, can be a Dominant/submissive relationship. As a professional dominatrix, I did not have sex with my clients, but there was a relationship there.

The number of people who presumed I was having all kinds of sex all the time, simply because I enjoy kink, was astounding.

Similar to rumors spread when I was in high school, I wish I was having all the sex it was assumed I had. But why, simply because I enjoyed kink, was it an automatic thing that I must be engaging in tons of sex?

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