How I Gave Myself the Freedom to Be Myself

Even behind the mask, I'm more free than I've ever been.

The freedom to be ourselves is always in question. I’m in the US, Land of the Free…if you’re conforming to societal norms that is. By going anonymous, I’ve allowed myself to be more free than ever, and I can’t imagine going back.

I appreciate you all coming along with me on my journey. If you would like to support my work, you can always buy me a coffee. <3

On to the story!


It may sound counterintuitive to consider myself free, while also remaining in hiding, but I’ve never felt more free. Behind the mask of a stock photo and nom de plume, I’m more myself than I’ve ever been in my 42 years on this earth.

A few days ago on Twitter, my dear friend Joe Duncan asked if he was one of the last people writing under his real name about controversial topics. I immediately replied he might well be. My comment was soon followed by a number of other sex writers from this platform, espousing their varied reasons for remaining anonymous.

Our reasons may vary, but at the core, one thing remains true. The ability to be free from the judgment of our so-called ‘real world’.


The past is the past?

Personally, I don’t care who knows what I write. All of my tales of love and lust are true (unless denoted otherwise) and I have nothing to hide. However, I am intelligent enough to know, those things can and will be used against me, yes, in a court of law.

Apparently my past isn’t in the past when it comes to my ability to parent a child, according to the law of the land. This isn't conjecture, I’ve dealt with it before. My first ex-husband used his knowledge of my sexuality and lifestyle to improve his outcome in custody court many years ago. My step-daughter’s mother obtained copies of boudoir photos I had taken almost 10 years prior, and waved them around a courtroom not three years ago.

Now, imagine what could be done with the information that I’ve been a sex worker, a professional dominatrix, or a video girl.

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