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Pleasure should come easy, but that isn’t always the case. For some, getting to the point of being able to relax and let go takes time and effort. If you want to easily give a woman pleasure, the first step is be the kind of partner who shows her it’s not only okay to desire it, but welcomes it.

Breaking the cycle

Society has taught us, as women, we’re not supposed to enjoy sex. How dare we go out and look for it, much less garner pleasure from it! Sex is for procreation, not recreation.

That’s garbage.

Like George Michael said, sex is natural, sex is fun. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying it. The more you relax and stop worrying about what someone else is going to think of your pleasure, the more you can enjoy it.

Being the type of partner who encourages a woman to break free of societal expectations opens the door to pleasure.

Make sure you offer a safe place for her to say what’s on her mind, to discuss the things she desires, and to openly be vulnerable without fear of repercussions.

Listen to her body

We all have non-verbal cues. When you and your partner are engaging in sexual activities, her body will let you know what’s going on even when she’s not saying a word.

However, no always means no, regardless of what you THINK you’re interpreting elsewhere. I am in no way condoning play without consent here. Use your brain and make good judgment calls.

If you’re licking parts of her body and she arches into you, keep going. If she pulls away, move on.

Listen to her words

When she tells you what’s working, listen. If she tells you what isn’t, stop. It sounds simple, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve finally felt comfortable enough to express what does and doesn’t work for me with a partner, and been ignored.

You have moves. I get it. They don’t work for everyone. Don’t take it personally.

Everyone’s body is different. What worked with one lover may not work with someone else. And that’s okay. It gives you the opportunity to try new things.

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