How to Properly Treat and Care For a Submissive

Being a good dominant means more than giving orders and cracking a whip.

Being in the Dominant role is one of the hardest in the BDSM world. It’s well worth all the effort to see a submissive look into your eyes while they’re in sub space, knowing you helped get them there. One of the first things a good Dominant learns is, they are not the one in control.

The lioness is not submissive, she merely lets you be king for as long as it pleases her. — Unknown

In a D/s relationship (Dominant/submissive) the Dominant partner does not control the submissive partner. They have been given control of.

There’s a difference.

As the Dominant, you’ve been given a gift. A submissive partner has decided you are worthy of their trust, and has given you the power.

Without earning the trust of your submissive partner, you have no power. BDSM is about a power exchange. Once you, as the Dominant, have earned the trust of a submissive, you are being given the power of control of, whatever you’ve contracted ahead of time with your submissive partner.

There’s a difference between controlling someone and being given control of. One is narcissistic in nature, the other is a power exchange with certain expectations in place.

Meeting a submissive

No matter how you choose to meet new people, whether it’s through a dating app, FetLife, or at local munches, there are do’s and don’ts.

Think about it this way, when you first meet someone you’d like to date, would you demand they call you Sir? Ma’am? Doubtful.

It’s no different when you first meet a potential submissive partner.

You do not own this person. And they are that, a person. Not an object, not a toy.

Further down the road, if contracted as such, this may change, but when you first meet someone you would enjoy a D/s relationship with, there are no expectations other than conversation.

Now is not the time to demand they complete tasks for you. You have not earned any title, yet.

Treat them with the respect you expect for yourself.

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