Hello, my wonderful fans!
I hope May is treating you well and you’re taking care of yourself.
After months of being a free newsletter, I’ve made the decision to turn on paid subscriptions.
What does this mean for you?
Well, you have a few options. You can choose to remain a free subscriber, of course! You’ll still receive occassional newsletters from me with friend links to my articles. They just won’t be quite as frequent.
You can also subscribe for $5 per month (or discounted at $50 annually) and receive all my newsletters, plus, bonus photography and erotic stories!
I’ve even thrown in a high level option for super readers, where you can subscribe at a price of your choosing (over and above the annual price) and receive even more.
It’s up to you <3
Now, on to the story!
Recently, my dear friend Yael Wolfe challenged me to write about my map of sexual awakenings. We all have moments in our lives, where we realize something big is happening. They may be soft and subtle, or strike us like lightning, but when it comes to our sexuality, oftentimes, it’s a bit of both.
For myself, until my mid-twenties, I was as naive as they come. There were many moments I can recall that contributed to the sexual person I am today, some good, some bad.
Was I prescient enough at the time to recognize what was happening?
Not at all.
I wonder now, had I been more self-aware when I was younger, would I have become so promiscuous in an attempt to learn?
It’s interesting to ponder, but being honest, changes nothing.
The awareness may not have been there, but I’ve always been pansexual. As Yael discusses in her piece, What I Mean When I Say I’m Pansexual, a broader definition of pansexuality.
Not knowing what it meant then, I remember always being in tune with nature, as a child. The loamy scent of the forest did something to my body I couldn’t explain. Sucking on wild honeysuckle, searching for wild sorrel so I could eat the fairy okra. Foraging dandelion leaves, to add to salad later.
I was always a strange child.
None of that, on the surface, seems sexual in nature. Looking back, the feeling I got from being in natural surroundings is the same charge I get when aroused.
You couldn’t have asked me to explain it then and even now, there are times I struggle finding words. Akin to being Alice, falling down the rabbit hole, allowing the world to take me where it will.